Finally, Friday!

Ahhh...caffeine. I love you. Only in the mornings, but I have come to cherish our mornings together. Just the right start to my day....

So I was going to post this yesterday, but I had too much shit to do, and Jayk being ever so kind as to keep reminding me of all the shit I had to do to keep me focused. Well Jayk is at work this morning, so I can sneak this one in...

Pet Peeve #208:

So it never ceases to amaze me when I find or rediscover a new thing that annoys the shit out of me. Stupid people are everywhere. There is no escaping them. They annoy the hell out of me. The fact that stupid people are everywhere is not my rediscovery because I deal with ignorant people all day long at work.

Yesterday was no exception. I spoke with a customer who had the intelligence of my pen and the confidence of a morbidly obese woman in a g-string bikini. I notice that this particular annoyance bothers me when I'm watching TV too, especially when a newscaster does it. And here it is folks:

Customer: "I uhhh....would like to uhhhh...know why my bills is so uhhhh.... high? Uhhhh...it wasn't so high last month. Uhhhh... I know that I uhhhh..... went on vacation and uhhhh.... I used the phone a little bit more than I uhhhh... usually do, but uhhhh... I don't think that this is correct." (I am not exaggerating; this is how this customer was speaking to me.)

Newscaster: "Well Chuck, uhh...I'm not quite sure why the bus driver was drunk, but I uhhh...do know that this is just a tragedy. Back to you, Chuck."

Now newscasters don't USUALLY do it as much as normal people, but either way it drives me INSANE! I so badly want to yell at the top of my lungs at people with whom I talk to, "JUST SPIT IT OUT!" Lucky for me when I'm watching TV and this happens, I can just hit a button and the annoyance disappears. But when I'm at work, oh no, I have to suffer through it! Do you know that conversations with people like this average about 20 minutes and usually only about one small, simple topic? I've actually clocked this on my phone when I talk to them. I have stats to worry about and usually there are about 30 other customers that are waiting to talk to me.

I know that there are a lot of people with speech impediments, but this rant does not apply to them. I can deal with stuttering, or any handicap. For them, I have all of the patience in the world. I actually really enjoy helping those customers. They are so grateful and happy that they called in and got the service they deserve and that I treat them like people; not like people with handicaps.

But when what seems to be a normal person or a newscaster does it, it makes whoever is speaking generally sound unintelligent and completely oblivious to what they are talking about. It also makes me think that they don't actually think before they speak, or if they do, they intentionally put the "uhhhhs" in there for effect...or just to piss me off. I can't decide.

Ahh...another sip of my sweet caffeine... Happy Friday everyone!

A little off the wall..

is it time to go yet?
i wait anxiously for time to pass
to go back to a place
i so fondly remember
my heart longs for the feeling
i get when i am there
a place i feel i belong
a place i long to be

the roads have changed
but the one i follow back
remains the same
looking back at the wasted years
feeling it's been one big
mistake after another
i ran for all of the wrong reasons
and yet live with
feelings
pains
joys
and sorrows.

i do not regret
the life i chose
i only am sad
for all of the
changes
relationships
people
experiences
i may or may not
have been
able to forge

the time may have
passed
it may still be yet
to come
i may never
know
or i may just
go home.

Freedom of Speech?

So my friend sent me this video via myspace. I watched it in its entirety and I haven't decided what pisses me off more. Before I go on, you may want to check out the video to understand what I am about to say:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QRyr3_nCF4&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fbulletin%2Emyspace%2Ecom%2Findex%2Ecfm%3Ffuseaction%3Dbulletin%2Eread%26messageID%3D3402971961%26MyToken%3Da2e0b67e%2D3a4b%2D4ce9%2D8de

First, I am not a religious person. I do not practice a faith. However, I am not discriminatory against those who do. If you have faith in something or someone then so be it. I think it's fine and serves a purpose to certain people. If I get a religious forward from people, sometimes I may read it, sometimes I delete them. Probably more of the second of the two options...

I have seen other clips of this woman and her psychotic cult-like family. She pisses me off on so many levels and just further drives in the reason why I do not believe in mass religion. Not only is she by far one of the most disrespectful, sick, crazy bitches I have ever seen, but she is teaching this behavior to her children! Free speech is great, but there comes a point where certain people need to just shut the hell up.

She's standing on corners of funerals for people that DIED to give her that right to speak so freely! I know that the reasons we are in Iraq etc, may be shitty and relatively non-existent, but our military is ultimately there to serve as our protector, right? If "GOD" is so great, then why the hell would he/she be as judgmental as this crazy bitch and her family is saying he/she is?

What are worse is her kids, and others it seems in her community are being brainwashed the same way! Not only is she attacking homosexuals, she is essentially saying that we are all "doomed" and the the United States is getting what it deserves! I had premarital sex and had a child out of wedlock- so me and my child are going straight to hell and are doomed? I can't stand it! I can not stand religion, or people like this crazy woman.

How can they live that way? I can't believe that no one has harmed her or her family yet. I guess people must just realize that she's nuts and needs to have her and her family committed to a mental institution. Ok there, I'm done venting. But seriously, should we condone her behavior and just accept it as free speech? Why can't this woman or people like her be stopped? Aren't they just as bad as the terrorists? They hate us as much as the terrorists do right?

Interview with "moi"...

1.) If you found a defective genie who only had one wish to give you what would you wish for and why? (No wishing for more wishes)

If I were being cheesy and truthful, I would say I would wish for my son to lead a long, happy, healthy life. If I were being selfish I would wish for a paid for house in Minnesota with a fenced in back yard. Why? Well first of all, he is my son. I want him to outlive me, and be successful. He's my world. The house in Minnesota, well it would be paid for, so that's money I save, and most of all it's home.

2.) What is the greatest obstacle you have over come in your life and how did you do it?

The greatest obstacle I have overcome in my life is to take responsibility of my own actions. Sounds simple, but I was the queen of "I didn't do it," or "it will take care of itself." I had a very scary encounter about 2 years ago that made me realize every single decision I make could have a HUGE effect on my son or the rest of my life. It was during a period of pure selfishness I was going through. Around the time of my scary situation, I was partying a lot and when I was the epitome of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and noticed I was missing out on the best part of my life: my son. I snapped out of it more or less and started focusing on making my life better.

3.) You just bought your child a puppy for their birthday and gave it to them at a birthday party where all of their friends are present. "God" appears and says he will cure everyone in the world of cancer if you beat the puppy to death in five minutes in front of your child and their friends. You have to do it in five minutes and if you ever tell someone why you did it everyone's cancer would return....would you do it?

First of all, I don't believe in a "God". But for lack of better terminology, I'll play along. Second, what kind of frickin question is this!? Would I beat a dog to death in front of my son and his friends to save the world from cancer? What about the people that haven't gotten cancer yet? Would it prevent it from happening? If that was the case, and I knew I wouldn't go to jail for it, then yes, puppy must die. Without the known variables, cancer is treatable and curable in some cases right now, and if there was a chance of going to jail, then heck no I wouldn't!

4.) Have you ever seen Rockets rocket and is it as big as we think?

Brian, you pervert. No I have not seen Rocket's rocket, but if the family genes hold true, and having a son with the same gene, I'm sure it probably is! LOL!

5.) In twenty words or less what would you want your tombstone to say?

Never regret anything in life, because at one time, it was exactly what you wanted. ~CES 1980-xxxx

Now it’s YOUR turn to play:

Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.” I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions. Update your blog with the answers to the questions. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Update on my lumps!

Ok, so I went to the doctor today. Dr. Little has to be the coolest doctor ever. Not only is he Irish, and I love listening to the accent, but he's not all stuffy and doesn't speak in medical terms that most people don't understand.

Over the past two years I've put on a couple pounds (not that I am huge by any means), and that was part of my worry. Diabetes runs thick in my family, and I was also experiencing numbness in my hands from time to time. Then the lumps came and that really worried me. Doctor Little made me feel 90% better. He told me that the lumps, who I will now name Jayk Jr., and Logan Jr., were just from swollen lymph nodes. He said they didn't seem to be infected as they aren't irritated or painful. They could have just been something like a minor infection that seems to be going away now. Yay! The headache I had when I woke up this morning instantly disappeared. Then I got the lecture about smoking. Yea yea yea..It's not that I don't want to quit, I can't right now. Rocket, don't start with me, I can physically quit yes, but mentally right now I can't. So just save it. I love you!

That was another thing we talked about. He kept asking me why I was so anxious all the time and why I was so stressed out. My answer was, "because it's what I'm good at." I can't help it! He kind of laughed at me and told me to stop letting things bother me so much...easier said than done when you work full time, have a child, go to school, and attempt to remain a romantic relationship. I stopped biting my nails (only because I got them done) and he said that was probably an anxiety thing too. Duh? I KNEW that. Either way, he said I have to watch the anxiety thing too.

I digress, back to the diagnosis. Since he has some concerns about the weight (even though I've lost 6 pounds, which I was thrilled about in the past two months) and the heavy predisposition to diabetes in my family and on top of that I was border lining gestational diabetes when I was pregnant; off to the lab he sent me for blood work. So that's where we stand now. I gave a tube of blood (and I HATE needles) and am waiting for the results which he said I should have by tomorrow.

At least now the worry about some weird cist or tumor is gone. I'm not as worried about the possible thyroid or diabetes issue, because I can control those. So now that my head isn't as full of worry, I get to play catch up again in school. Bleh. Off I go, I will continue to update on this fun little f*&#ed up adventure of my health when I hear something about the blood tests.

Random, but mostly a good week...

Cans, cans, cans, dried foods, and more cans. I'll be dreaming about cans and dried goods for days to come. We had a food drive at work along with a "friendly" competition on whose team would donate the most. I was the team captain for my team to motivate my teammates and remind them to clean out their pantries and donate. The final results are not in, but I think I have the winning team! I personally donated 161 items and the remaining of my team donated 542 for a total of 703 items! There were only about 6 of us who donated out of 10 which is kind of sad, but I'm just happy we donated what we could. All of it is being donated to the low country food shelf.

I am hoping against hope that we are the winning team. It would mean that an underdog team beat everyone. I'm always rooting for the underdog. I say we were the underdog team because everyone else's team had a supervisor. My supervisor is on extended leave and is ill. The way it worked out is when teams started lagging in numbers; the supervisors were picking up the slack by spending money to donate. (Our supervisors at work make pretty good money and can afford to do this.)

Needless to say there was only one other team that came anywhere near matching if not beating us. I tried to keep focus that it was all for a good cause, but I am VERY competitive. The team captain of the team I was struggling against was Jayk's team! The thing is, I was supposed to be on Jayk's team, but his supervisor was a girl that was hired with me and did some shady things to get me off her team. So it was almost like competing against her.

They had us beat until the last day (yesterday 4/30/07). My team did a sneak attack! We brought in over 400 items yesterday alone! It was great! So everyone keep their fingers crossed that at the last minute she didn't go out and get more stuff! I will keep everyone posted. I will say it was definitely a fun event, and I think I figured out a new workout in the process. Carrying bags of cans up two flights of stairs will do wonders for your cardiovascular and muscular health!

Anyway in the midst of all that craziness Logan had two weeks straight with no problems or timeouts at school. I'm extremely happy about this because that's a difficult feat for a 3 year old! I'm trying to hold onto the good stuff right now like my vacation, the food drive, Jay, Logan, and my friends. I'm trying not to stress about not being able to stay up in MN for good, our upcoming increase in rent, posting to another position, keeping my grades up, or the weird bumps I found on the back of my head that hurt. (No they're not from any kind of rowdiness, perverts -minus Rocket since you don't think of your little sis that way.)

I'm hoping they are just from stress or the heat or something. I'm hoping it's not my lymph nodes or something more serious. There's one on each side of my neck behind my ears at the base of my skull and one on the back of my head at the base of my skull (that's the only one that hurts.) I have a doctor's appointment Thursday morning, and I'm sure I'm just overreacting; regardless I would rather be sure. I don't want to go on vacation and something happen or I get sick. Better safe than sorry right?

Friday Funny...

Kid's Say the Damndest Things Part 1: So on my second day off of the week, a lot of times Logan and I will go to Dunkin Donuts for breakfast. He really likes the chocolate sprinkled donuts and I am usually in desperate need of caffeine. (Not unlike any other morning, but this is our little special bond-o time with just mommy and Logan.) He tells daddy (Jayk) to stay at home as we leave and that "we'll be right back, you stay there," and off we go.

I love doing this with him because it's fun one on one time with him and he is always so happy and talkative. As he eats his chocolate sprinkled donut we review our colors by naming each color of the sprinkles. He's fantastic at this and it pleases him so much that all of my attention is purely focused on him and how brilliant he is.

Here comes the first cute but funny moment this morning:

A man walks in who has a shaved head, not completely bald, like daddy just a little fuzz, and is wearing a grey t-shirt and green shorts (which is what Jayk had on before we left). He's tall but not quite as big as Jayk. Logan smiles and says, "Look mommy! It's a daddy!" I smile and tell him, "He LOOKS like daddy, but that's not daddy silly." Logan was obviously embarrassed as this was the first time I ever see him blush. The man was sweet about it and just laughed. No one is really awake at 7:30 AM over the age of 15 in this place.

We go back to naming the colors of his sprinkles. He's ecstatic and is diving face first into his donut rather than picking it up and eating it. I am purely entertained just by watching him because every time he gets chocolate on his face or hands, he asks me for the napkin to clean up. He HATES being messy. Absorbing his surroundings he’s asking me, "What's that mommy?" as he points to everything in the store. Breakfast moves on. We go round and round with posters of coffee, donuts, trash cans etc. He's just taking it all in when...

Funny moment number 2:

A man walks in with his son. Logan, who LOVES other kids smiles huge and says, "Look mommy! It's a boy!" I respond with, "Yes baby, you see another little boy with his daddy?" He responds with, "Yea mommy! It's a brown boy!" My son is three (pictured above). At this point, the man he called daddy almost shoots coffee out of his nose, and I wanted to crawl under the table and hide! The worst part of it is he keeps repeating it! "It's a brown boy mommy! Look!" I was trying so hard not to laugh, I just shoved some donut in his mouth and said, "Good job with your colors baby, but we don't say that. It's not very nice." He just looks at me so hurt and confused and says, "Ok Mommy. I'm sorry." He thought he was just going over colors still! Needless to say, the man and his son did not look upset thank goodness, but it was mommy's turn to blush!

I live in South Carolina. This is not the first time that my son has seen an African American. On the way home I try to figure out a way to explain race to my son. I still think it's hilarious, but at the same time I don't want him to think that he did something horrible by saying that. He was just simply stating a color he saw. He has African American kids in his class at school, so I know it was innocent in the way he said what he said at Dunkin Donuts.

As South Carolina was one of the Confederate states, African Americans are very sensitive here in Charleston still today. I was just fortunate that the man and his son were not the extremely sensitive type and knew that my son did not mean anything negative by what he said. I may not be so lucky next time! Any tips on how to avoid a possible confrontation next time? I'm not exaggerating; they get really pissed down here about that kind of stuff, even if it is a three year old being innocent. Another reason I really dislike the south. Ugh!

On the way home, I tried to explain to him that yes, the little boy's skin was brown however, we do not say that. He's a little boy, just like Logan and that he is just darker than us. I continue to tell him that he might make someone like the little boy sad by saying that. He just looks at me with his big blues and says, "Oh. Ok. I'm sorry mommy." He still feels as though he's done something horrible. Call my son sensitive, but I felt so bad! What do I do if something like this happens again?!

Even though it could have turned out very badly which I'm happy it didn't, I still relish these insanely humorous, innocent moments. ;)

Sorry for the weak start...

Just a quick note to say that there will be more coming from Little Sis. I have two huge presentations for my classes due this weekend that have been absorbing most of my time. Between those and trying to find a new place to live all I have had time to do is comment. There will be more though! I promise!However, I would like to thank everyone for their warm welcomes and comments! It's great to be able to have fun and intellectual conversations with people, since I don't get to get out much anymore! More coming soon...=)

Off to figure out a food production plan for a developing country and a slide presentation on Judaism! It will be fun right?

Who really has control? Parent or child?

I took a break from my project for class to clear my mind some and I found myself reflecting on a conversation I had with a coworker today. To lighten my mood, I sometimes view the entertainment sections of sites like CNN and USA Today. (Sad, but we need some relief sometimes!) As I am reading CNN's Entertainment site, I stumble across good old Alec Baldwin.

In this article there are quotes of a public apology he made about what he said to his daughter in a voicemail. You can even listen to the actual message he left her on the site. In his message, he is raging at his daughter about not answering her phone after what one would assume many attempts to get a hold of his daughter unsuccessfully. He in no way threatens physical harm. He just says he "is going to straighten her out" when he sees her. He is simply upset. His marriage is ending in a nasty divorce and custody suit, and he is losing touch with his daughter. He had a vulnerable moment of despair. Just because he's a celebrity doesn't make him less human.

So I'm thinking, "Why is this poor man being forced to apologize for yelling at his 11 year old publicly?" Sure, he called her a "little pig" who lacks "brains and respect", but seriously, why other than the fact that he is a celebrity is he being forced to apologize?!? I got yelled at worse as a teenager and I never dialed DSS and no one in my family ever had to apologize. I was rotten. So is his 11 year old. He could have said much worse!

As I'm discussing this with a co-worker he is getting passionate about this discussion. He can't believe that a parent would say that to a child of any age and he (Alec Baldwin) was completely pigheaded for saying something like that; and furthermore, his perfect non-divorced parents would never have said anything like that to him as a child or as an adult. This co-worker also has no children. So needless to say, everything he is saying is going in one ear and out the other. "What a jack ass!" is all I'm thinking at this point.

So what? Every parent has those moments where they visualize Rocketstar's picture of duct taping a child to a wall or worse. The only thing that I had an issue with after listening to the voicemail was the fact he called her mom "a worthless pain in the ass." Not good for the kid to hear and only fuels a fire in a nasty divorce and custody suit in my opinion.

But it seems like everyone is so ready to defend children, and pussy foot around everything that our future generations are going to be a bunch of sissies with no real world coping skills or knowledge. We are so quick to shelter our kids from reality now that by the time our younger generations have to face some tragedy like what happened on 9/11/01 or the massacre at Virginia Tech, or the war in Iraq, they won't have a prayer. They will have no coping skills. These kids are going to get picked on, get depressed, and have mommy and daddy sue the school district.

I've heard stories from teachers at middle schools and high schools about how 11 and 12 year olds are giving each other blow jobs and having sex in the bathrooms at the schools, some even in the classrooms when the teacher is not present!

In a society that is so quick to lay blame, my questions are this: What happened to parenting? Why have so many rights been taken from the parents and given to the children? Our kids are learning more from their friends which is essentially the blind leading the blind. That’s pretty scary stuff. And this is who we are going to be relying on in our old age to make good decisions?

It had to start somewhere...

Here we are. Welcome to my first post on blogger.com. Really I am a copycat of my older brother Rocketstar and his friends. What can I say? I've been inspired.

As much as I would love to start things off on a happy note, Rocketstar got me thinking today. What happened at Virginia Tech really bothered me on a lot of levels. In Rocketstar's post however, he made a great point and it was this: "Why don't we react the same when we see headlines about Iraq and the death tolls and bombings there?" He goes on to say the people dying in Iraq are all just as innocent as the students and professors at VT; being killed by mad men and women who are mentally disturbed...and he is right.

However, I am not sure what bothers me more, the fact that there are so many sick and twisted individuals in the world; or that the shooting at Virginia Tech bothers me more than what is going on in places like Iraq.

Perhaps it is because these "kids" were close to my age...well some of the Juniors and Seniors anyway. I feel that I have so much life to live, and so many more reasons to live it; including the main reason who is about 3' 6" tall, and smiles just like I do. But on a real level, I am almost ashamed to say it, the simple fact that things like what happened at VT is much closer to home, both physically and mentally.

I mean look at Iraq, Iran, etc, etc. They have governments based on religion. We in the United States like to think we have separated church and state. In Iraq, they believe women should breed, cook, clean, and do as the men say. In the U.S. a woman would likely kick a man's ass for thinking that way, and sometimes do! We are also more educated in the United States. There are so many factors and differences between the two places. For example, they were not successful governing themselves, so we just decided to step in and do it for them? Look where that's gotten them, and us for that matter. Nowhere.

Violence is everywhere, we can not escape that. But is it possible that maybe when things like the tragedy at VT happen, we focus on that because we feel since it happened in the U.S. we can get some sort of grasp and understanding of it? We can focus on the who, the what, the where, and why because it is local and within reach.

The genocides, and wars get tied up in politics and international laws and judicial systems, and we may never get the whole story of the why. Yes, the shooter at VT is dead, but we still have tangible pieces to pick up. As far as the true reasoning for Bush to bring the U.S. to Iraq, we will probably never get that whole story.

As I read the bios about the victims at Virginia Tech and see the videos and pictures of the mentally disturbed man who ended it all for them, it scares me. I think it scares the rest of the U.S. too. It IS close to home. It makes us all wonder, "What do we do now? Is any school safe? What if it happens in my city? What would I do if it was my child /friend /sister /brother /husband /wife?"

It is hard for us to imagine much less relate to people whose belief system is beyond screwed up. It is easier for us to look at the pictures of the kids and professors at Virginia Tech and see someone we may know, in a metaphorical way. That is why I think Americans don't react the same when the see the headlines in Iraq. We can't see that happening here. We can see our neighbor's son, or our friend, or family member at school...we can't see our women being confined to houses, and letting a single religion rule our country and kids carrying guns in streets and blowing up cars because they think it serves a purpose, I think it all falls back on an old saying (as sad as it sounds): "Out of sight, out of mind."