Reflections

At times when I looked in the mirror, I saw who I thought I wanted to be. I saw who I thought I was, and at times, I couldn't even look in the mirror because I didn't know who I was looking at.

Life's lessons have molded me into the woman I am today. So has the unconditional love of a boy and a man who understand and can always see the "inner" me if you will. Even if I don't recognize her at times, they do, and they shower me with joy and love regardless of the fight I put up until I'm reminded she exists. I've learned a lot in my life, but looking back at this year, I've learned more than I ever have before.

So much has been endured in my life this year, so much change, and so many lessons faced as challenges have taught me so much. When I look in the mirror now, I finally just see me. The best part about it, is I'm totally cool with that and I never have been before. I love my imperfections, because without them I'd be boring. It's like life, without mistakes and challenges, my life would be boring.

So this year, looking back, I am thankful for everything. I am in love with and married to a man that I am in awe of everyday. If there is one person in this entire world meant for one another, he was meant for me. It all started with a light of a cigarette, and my life changed forever. We share a humble, but honest and happy life. Even in our struggles with material things and finances, or bad days at the office, we can still look at each other and smile. No matter what, what we have will always be. And it will always be worth smiling about.

We have an amazing little boy. The reality of parenting hit me at the first diaper, but watching our son's mind mold into that of a little boy seemingly a man somedays is amazing. He quickly reminds us that he's watching our every move and we have to be there with him and for him every step of the way. We are teaching him to live, to be a little person, to make his own decisions, to feel, to show love, to do everything. It's quite apparent the seriousness of our tasks as parents to lead by example, and damnit, if I may pat myself on the back, I'm thrilled with the outcomes so far!

I have a family that has been my support, my friends, my cheering squad, and my biggest critics. They're pro's at wearing all hats with me, because until recently all of them were required at the drop of a dime. ;)

This year I have made some amazing friends that I love enough to consider family, lost some that were never really friends in the first place, and re-enforced my belief that it's not the quantity of friends but the quality, and for that I am especially thankful. It helps me keep perspective that everyone can take a piece of your heart, but not everyone can take care of it.

It may seem like I'm painting a canvas of a picture perfect life. In reality my life is not what some would consider perfect, and I don't see it as PERFECT, but I'm ok with my life. I'm quite happy with it and every single one of its challenges, and that is what makes it perfect. So as this year approaches its end and we head into the holiday season, I've done some serious reflecting. There is not just one thing I am most thankful for. I am thankful for everything.

Tomorrow morning when my husband gets home, and I cook our Thanksgiving feast and spend the day with those I love the most, I'll simply just be thankful for my life and the way it has turned out so far.