Focused

As the ongoing self-inventory continues, not only did I decide that I need a new career, I just need a whole new out look. One that starts with the way I view myself. From a very young age, being the only youngest girl in the family; I was given a gauntlet of advice on how to behave, look, speak, and even think.

I was told not to get fat, not to swear, and always be independent with a high self esteem. I had most of this shortened list figured out until adulthood. The one thing that stuck is I am extremely independent. The rest of it went out the window somewhere along the way. So, I have decided it is time to fix it.

I am not dieting, and I did not quit smoking. I like to eat what I like to eat, and smoking keeps me from going insane. I know, I know, it's all in my head about smoking, but right now I am taking baby steps. I still eat what I want, just less of it, and I am damned and determined to continue to work out. It is just the beginning stages as I have only gone to work out the past two days, but I WILL keep going. I have also decided to grow out my hair again as a self-test of patience and longevity...and so I can just put it in a pony tail or bun when I'm tired of it.

As far as my education goes, I took out student loans for part of this year so I could avoid getting taxed the hell out of at the end of the year had I kept Verizon Wireless as my primary source of tuition. I decided after my associate's in business (which after the 19th of August, I will be half way through with a 3.92 GPA!) I am going to change my field. I will then be seeking out my bachelor's in human services. Not quite sure what position I will be after just yet, but I have a few ideas.

I am approaching 30 and I will not struggle the rest of my life like my mother did. Bless her heart, I love her to death, but I refuse to be 50-something with a life of regrets, and an attitude of negativity. I truly believe life is what YOU make of it. I am not a victim of my life or my circumstance. I do not want to just survive. I want to do something I like, and be comfortable in life, and damnit, I will!

I have been lucky enough in life to be surrounded by people that love and support me and inspire me. Thanks to all of them, I learned how to think for myself. Though growing up, I thought they were trying to control me, but really, they were just giving me the tools to do it on my own. Thanks Rocket, Randel, mom, and dad, for all playing an awesome role in my life!