Today is officially cancelled.

OK so first I wake up and Logan has got a bug causing him to lose bodily fluids out of both ends. Poor kid. He's fine now, but it wasn't the perfect way to start my morning.

Then, I go to get the laundry out of the dryer that Jayk did yesterday (mostly his clothes) and a couple of my items, but there were blue spots all over everything including a brand new t-shirt that I bought for him last week! Low-and-behold there is Jayk's work pen at the bottom of my dryer. And there's blue streaks all over the inside of my dryer. Great. So I put shout on all of the effected clothes and throw them right back in the washer, clean out the inside of the dryer, and take a couple of shirts in our bedroom to hang to dry.

I get in my bedroom and am getting ready to move a now dry shirt to make room for the wet one I want to air dry, and I look, there are ants all over the shirt hanging. (The shirt was hanging on the doorway that leads to our patio in our master bedroom.) I hate bugs. SO, I suck it up and am walking the entire mess out into my patio and as I get in the patio, one of the little fuckers bites me between my index and middle finger on my left hand! Fire ants were IN my house! WTF!? (For my friendlies up north, these are vicious little pain-in-the-ass ants that bite you and and cause wherever they bit to itch like crazy and swell up).

So I drop the shirt in the patio and go back inside to deal with the rest of them. Instead of getting bit again, I call the office where we live to send an exterminator. She says "We'll try to get someone out there today." I say, "I have a four year old, there's no trying, I need to have someone out here today." (Bug man came and went, so hopefully that will solve that.)
I'm just steaming at this point because I've had so many problems with this stupid office at our house and I got bit yet once again! So after dinking around on the computer for a while cause I'm too pissed to do anything else, I decide that "chicken and french fries" don't sound too bad, and leaving the house for a few minutes may do me some good.(Chicken and french fries means that Logan asked me for McDonald's.) Then I'll be motivated enough to finish laundry and cleaning, etc.

Not so bad right? Wrong. I get back to my house, and as I walk in, I realize it's about as warm in my house as it is outside (approx 85 degrees). WTF? I go check the thermostat, and the ac is on and I can hear it running. I go check the vents..no air coming out. SON OF A BITCH! What the hell else is going to go wrong? I don't even want to know.

So here's my day -puking, shitting child leads to leaky pen in the dryer, to nasty fucking bugs, to a non-working ac unit. I give up. I hate shitty days. This one is officially cancelled. If Logan wasn't being such a good boy, I would have killed someone. Thankfully I have angel-Logan today. Not whiny-screaming-attitude Logan. I wish I could go back to sleep and start all over...grrrr...

Finally Some Light at the End of My Tunnel!

I'm scared, nervous, anxious, excited, and a little stressed out. I've done it. All I have to do is fax in my paperwork, and I will be on the path. I have decided to jump ship on my associates in business administration and will have my associates in human services management between October and December of 08!

After a long talk with my academic counselor who completely rocks, I have decided to enter the world of student loans, the pursuit of knowledge, and hopefully fulfillment and happiness in a degree that I am actually interested in. Better yet, there is only one class I've taken so far that MAY not transfer to my new associates, and that's only an added 9 weeks and one class...a small price to pay for achieving a goal I actually have a passion for.

And for once, I don't feel like I'm doing something too late. I am only 26 almost 27 years old and I don't want to wait 5 years from now to go back and then try to get in the field I want, only to sign for student loans at an older age. I want to enter this field. I haven't decided what position, but after researching the field and the careers in it, I feel confident that I have found my niche.

I like helping people. I always have. Sure customer service is a form of helping someone, providing services is helping someone, and that's fine. But I want more than just helping someone. I want to make a difference in someones life for the better. I want to be a success story to those that I help. I want to set an example for my child that it is OK to follow your dream and do what you WANT to do and not what you HAVE to do to get by.

I know that it is a tough field and the higher paying jobs require more of an education, but I have no problem with gaining knowledge. I can stay at Verizon Wireless until I finish my associates. Then I will continue to stay there until I can enter my field and still pay my bills. One year. That's it. That's all it will take, and as I've learned over the course of my life and especially this past year, one year flies by.

I know I will still want to slit my wrists when the alarm goes off at 5am tomorrow morning knowing I have to go back to the dungeon, but at least now I have more of a drive and a small light at the end of a year long tunnel. For now, that's enough for me.

I'm done..

The above is just a heeded warning my friends. I am having a fun filled two weeks of absolute bullshit, and I do not know how much more I can take. In the grand scheme of things I'm sure it's no big fucking deal, but everything is getting on my last damn nerve. I mean everything. Even Logan, and he rarely gets on my nerves.

Let's start wit this lovely multi-billion dollar blood sucking empire. Fuck Dell. I like their computers, but their CEO's and management deserve to burn in hell or bring their jobs back into the fucking United States. I absolutely HATE and LOATHE the stupid half English speaking cocksuckers that answer the phone sounding like the Kwiki-mart character from the Simpson's saying his name is "Joe" or "Sam" or even better the women with names like "Christi".


My first encounter with them was a couple of months ago when I future dated a payment and they took it out right away. The second was last week. As many of us know, many business further bend us over hot coals and rape us with "convenience" fees for stupid bullshit like same day/online/phone/check/credit card payments. Dell is no exception to the rule.


My balance last week for my laptop was $1,413.74. Not a huge amount of money, but that's a decent chunk for one lump payment. AND I wanted to purchase another one. (That's a whole other story). SO I choose to click the little box for SAME DAY payment and agree to the "convenience" fee of $9.95. What's another $10 when you're making that kind of payment right?

So after I get my tracking number and confirmation email, I log back into my account to see if my available credit shot up since I made the payment. Nope. Waited a couple of hours...Nothing. Damn it. Now I have to call these assholes to find out what's up."Samantha" or "Anne" answers my call. Lucky her.


ME: "I made a payment and agreed to the extra fee for $9.95 to process a same day payment about 4 hours ago. When can I expect to see my payment post to my Dell account?"

In her most scripted polite tight ass voice

DELL REP: "Oh, I am so sorry m'om, dis can take up to 24 hours for da bank to clear da funds and den it will post to yor Dell account."

Her answer would have been perfectly acceptable had she acknowledged I paid a god damned fee to pay my fucking balance off on the same day. Just completely skated over that little fact.


ME: "Then why did I pay a convenience fee of $10 to have my payment post TODAY?" I got the same damn response. Exact same response. I'm getting pissed at this point.

ME again: "Maybe you don't understand what SAME day payment means. It means I paid $10 extra dollars that I didn't have to, so I could turn around and give your company more business. If it takes 24 hours to post to the Dell account, it should state that online, and I would like you to waive the fee, since I could have just as easily posted a next day payment and avoided the fee all together."


STUPID DELL REP: "Oh, I so sorry m'om, I cannot waive da fee. It is standard fee. You made agreement to pay da fee, I cannot waive it, since payment already confirmed."

My blood is boiling, but I am still trying to keep my cool at this point. I know how much customer service sucks. I want to slit my wrists everyday I wake up and have to go to work. (Yet another blog in itself).


ME: "OK, I UNDERSTAND your job. I happen to work for a multi-billion dollar company doing EXACTLY what you do EVERY day. If we do not fully disclose something to a customer, we work with them. If there is a miscommunication, we fix it and make sure it doesn't happen again. Obviously $10 is not that much money since I'm already giving you $1400, but this is ridiculous. I hate to do this, but if you are unwilling to credit back or waive the $10, I want you to put me on the phone with a supervisor or someone who will." (I'm cringing at the fact that I am turning into the customer I hate until...)


DELL REP: "M'om, you are being da very rude, and I do not waive fee for you because it standard fee, and I will not get da supervisor, da fee will show on dee next bill."


ME:"Are you serious?!, Ok, here's what I'll do. I'll have the account holder (Jayk) call back in an hour, cancel the account, and I'll take my business elsewhere. Have a nice fucking day." (click).

This is the second time I had to have Jayk call in after I tried reasoning with them and they were assholes to me. I fucking hate Dell. I love their computers. I hate their fucking service. I know how my customers feel. It makes me even less empathetic.


Look at today for example. Customer calls in and practically rips my face off because her $.40 credit has not appeared in the store's system and it was entered in 5 min ago. She was SCREAMING! WTF?!? $.40 god damned cents! This is not my life, this is not my life. I am so tired of piddly shit that people fucking freak out about.


I had one guy tell me today and I quote, "I'm going to call the Attorney General of MD, and uhh..uhh..the FCC, and uhhh...uhhh.." I interject with "The Better Business Bureau?" Needless to say, he caught on to the fact that I was being a sarcastic bitch and that call is still pending a call back tomorrow, but I could care less. He was pissed over his 14 year old daughter using $25 worth of text messaging which I even offered to credit half since he said to me, "yea, I knew she was doing it, but this is still ridiculous..blah blah blah". And yet he still continued to throw his tantrum because I wouldn't give it all to him.


Fuck that job, that place, and the stupid assholes that call me everyday. On top of that, we set up follow ups for big credits or bill reworks, and now instead of giving us offline time (time off the phones) to do our follow ups (part of our job description), they want us to work offline OT to complete them instead of giving us time during our shift! FUCK THAT! I have a 4 year old, I'm going to school, and the last thing I want to do is stay in that damned building that wants me to do more, get paid less, and kiss people's ass? HELL NO! This bitch stops working for you at 4 o'clock...everyday.


I keep telling myself this is just a really bad rut. But it's only getting worse. Sorry for the lengthy rant, or bitch session. The only good news I have to report is finals are done, I'm off for a week, and so far, I got an A in my Information Technology class! I need more good news to weigh it out though. Damn life and all its bullshit. Good night.

Focused

As the ongoing self-inventory continues, not only did I decide that I need a new career, I just need a whole new out look. One that starts with the way I view myself. From a very young age, being the only youngest girl in the family; I was given a gauntlet of advice on how to behave, look, speak, and even think.

I was told not to get fat, not to swear, and always be independent with a high self esteem. I had most of this shortened list figured out until adulthood. The one thing that stuck is I am extremely independent. The rest of it went out the window somewhere along the way. So, I have decided it is time to fix it.

I am not dieting, and I did not quit smoking. I like to eat what I like to eat, and smoking keeps me from going insane. I know, I know, it's all in my head about smoking, but right now I am taking baby steps. I still eat what I want, just less of it, and I am damned and determined to continue to work out. It is just the beginning stages as I have only gone to work out the past two days, but I WILL keep going. I have also decided to grow out my hair again as a self-test of patience and longevity...and so I can just put it in a pony tail or bun when I'm tired of it.

As far as my education goes, I took out student loans for part of this year so I could avoid getting taxed the hell out of at the end of the year had I kept Verizon Wireless as my primary source of tuition. I decided after my associate's in business (which after the 19th of August, I will be half way through with a 3.92 GPA!) I am going to change my field. I will then be seeking out my bachelor's in human services. Not quite sure what position I will be after just yet, but I have a few ideas.

I am approaching 30 and I will not struggle the rest of my life like my mother did. Bless her heart, I love her to death, but I refuse to be 50-something with a life of regrets, and an attitude of negativity. I truly believe life is what YOU make of it. I am not a victim of my life or my circumstance. I do not want to just survive. I want to do something I like, and be comfortable in life, and damnit, I will!

I have been lucky enough in life to be surrounded by people that love and support me and inspire me. Thanks to all of them, I learned how to think for myself. Though growing up, I thought they were trying to control me, but really, they were just giving me the tools to do it on my own. Thanks Rocket, Randel, mom, and dad, for all playing an awesome role in my life!