I'm still here!

Why don't cars only have 3 wheels or regular bicycles have 3 wheels? Because the third one just causes problems. Jayk and I have pretty much been through hell and back over the past couple of months. The important thing is we realized we have something worth fighting for and working through all of the hard stuff that comes our way, and we are making our life ours again.

Part of us splitting up was my fault (well a lot of it was my fault) but moreover it was because we invited a third wheel to be a part of our life. (No crazy threesomes or anything) but someone we considered a friend, a very close one at that played with us. Like we were toys or a chess game that he could pit us against each other with .Then we found out the hard way how deep the meaning of the phrase "misery loves company" really flows. The extent of it, I don't wish to go into but after we finally smartened up to what he was doing, we could not figure out which one of us was lied to more.

I had everything. A man who loves me and my son more than anything, a nice home, a job that pays the bills, and a great GPA to get me an even better job. Now, I'm getting it back, holding on with dear life, and cherishing every moment and every part of it, even the parts that suck at times. Why? Because they are mine.

I was so far in a dark hole that I didn't realize I put myself in it and was the only one that could get me out of it. May sound cliche, but I lost what I considered everything I had ever wanted in life, because of seeds planted and lies told. Thankfully the pain of losing that was enough for me to take my head out of my ass and start communicating with my future husband.

Life is very difficult, and complicated, and I know though I have not lived through as much as some, or been through as much emotionally as others, we all have our levels of tolerence, and though we all learn different lessons throughout our crazy rides called life, I hope to think that one day all of my cliff notes will make a difference somewhere and somehow in someone's life.

So our saga continues..LOL I'm still here and doing much better, but I'll leave you with these questions... Why is it when someone plants a seed in your mind sometimes no matter how strong you think you are against it, it ends up being a virus that takes control of your system? Are we all really like computers with vulnerabilities that allow for others to hack into our systems and grow their virus by picking away at our thoughts, feelings, and emotions? How different are we from robots? Are we really naive enough to think we can't be conditioned? If you say no, then what do you say of parenting?