My town, up in flames...

June 18, 2007

On Monday, June 18th, a community has been changed forever. 3 different companies were called around 7pm to a Sofa Super Store in West Ashley, South Carolina. Of the many men that bravely fought this above pictured blaze, 9 of them did not make it out.

This happened in my area. These men were people in a newly made group of friends. One of our friends pictured above (second from the right bending over with the airtank on his back) was lucky enough to make it out with only an injury to his hand. His name is Marques Bush. He is Jayk's luitenant at the company he just started with. He works full time at St. Andrew's firehouse and is a volunteer with Jayk at Caromi. St. Andrews was one of the companies fighting this particular blaze.

Luckily, Marques was not in the building though he was gearing up to go in when glass from a window he had to shatter badly cut his hand. His injury prevented him from going in to look for at least 5 guys that he was made aware of at that time. He had surgery on his hand Tuesday and is now recovering physically, fine. Mentally, him, along with many other firefighters and friends are devestated. There are flags at half mass everywhere and billboards saying how much these guys will be missed.

When a tragedy happens and you are far removed from it and watching from a distance, you may have a moment of sorrow and think, "Oh those poor families, friends, people, etc.." Now it has hit so close to home, though Jayk was not there, my friends and theirs were at this fire. I will honestly say even when 9/11 happened, I felt that generalized sorrow. I didn't feel directly effected.

Now that Jayk will be starting his 1152 (firefighter's certification training) classes to be certified and able to go IN to burning buildings, and for the simple fact some of our friends and "extended" friends were there, I could not help but get that sick feeling in my stomach when Marques's wife Kelly called me from the fire that night at 11 pm to let me know that Marques had been injured but he was ok, and that at that time 5 guys were missing. Four of them we close friends of theirs. We had just met one of their wives the previous Saturday. This is what's left of the building they got trapped in:

I can't help but write about it, because it is all I have been hearing everywhere I go. So many people sent me texts and called to see if Jayk had been there and to find out if he was all right. It's just so overwhelming. The loss of these nine men from our local area has wrecked the community. It has been a really bad year for many public service men and women in our area, and I don't think that they are recognized nearly as much as they should; not just in our area but for all public service people nationwide.

It's pretty sad that it takes 9 men dying for people to pay attention to what these men and women do for our country everyday. It's pretty sad that this has to happen for people to recognize they put their lives on the line (much like our soldiers) every day just to keep the rest of us safe and alive. So next time you see a firetruck, ambulance, or a squad car go racing past you on the road sirens blaring, make sure you take a moment to not only get out of the way, but silently thank them for what they do everyday. You never know when it will be you or yours they're saving!

To the 9 local heroes and my new humongous extended family as one of the guys at the firehouse put it, I would like to say thank you for everything you do!

Long time no see

I know I know, I am a bad blogger. I have not had much to say as of recent. The heat must be baking my brain down here. It's so gross. I can not function in a state that 5 min after I take a shower and walk outside I suddenly am soaked with sweat and feel dirty all over again. Not only that, I start my two classes today. So more blogging to come in the middle of my suppposed study time. ;)

I have been enjoying these few weeks of no class and have been neglecting my blog. Not too much going on, Jayk's been on his first call with the fire department and he's getting ready to start classes there.

The two people I referred to earlier (the woman I work with and her husband that is Jayk's luitenant trainer) are some of the nicest people I've ever met. Being a firefighter's girlfriend may not be such a bad life after all...

There are perks of this new arrangement with the fire department; like saying opps he had a call right before we were supposed to hang out with his parents! That's my favorite part..

I really don't have anything else coherent to say, so I just wanted to let you know I'm still alive and hopefully will have more funny or insane shit to say soon. =)

Yup, I'm gonna do it. Paris Hilton has got to go!

OK, I am so tired of hearing about Paris Hilton and her drama. What a fucking crybaby! She should get 45 days! She should have gotten that when she was initially arrested for a DUI!

However, I am not biased towards one celebrity getting the book thrown at them. I think they should ALL get the book thrown at them. 45 days is nothing. It's a blink in the grand scheme of things. It is a valuable lesson learned. People like her that are so fucking spoiled and wealthy that think that just because they are rich and famous should be made examples of.

They make the big bucks to be in the spotlight, they should deal with it just like anyone else that gets popped for the same thing. Even more so in my opinion BECAUSE they are public figures. (Of what sort, I'm not sure, but they are.) I mean seriously, they are people, they are Americans, and they have laws too. Why should they be bounced for a prissy little billionaire heiress?

And like I said, she is not the only one that's been busted for DUI; Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie are only a few of the Hollywood hoes that have been busted, but they'll find a way out of it. Just like Paris Hilton is gonna shed some tears, pay her 3, yes 3 lawyers a little extra to find some weaselly little loop hole for her to get out of it.

The thing is, she isn't even in jail for DUI. She got arrested for that, and then was stupid and brazen enough to drive under suspension and then had the balls to play dumb by saying, "I didn't know it was still suspended." Come on!

She's lucky she didn't get locked up for 45 days from the get go.

Minnesota for example will fine someone first offense up to $1,000 and up to 90 days in prison as the maximum sentence. 90! She would kill herself! Not to mention that according to the article on CNN.com that I read today, she IS on suicide watch. Which I by the way think is hilarious.

I am wildly animated about this particular subject because I vehemently can not stand when people drive drunk in the first place. I know people that do it. I hate it that they do. I watched someone very near and dear to me royally fuck up a lot of opportunities in life because of multiple offenses of this sort.

Why? Why I must ask, do people drive drunk? Is that last beer/drink/shot really worth ruining your or someone elses life? As the 108 put it in her May 27, 2007 post What's On The Road (found here: http://the108.blogspot.com/2007/05/whats-on-road.html), why don't people think about the lives they may ruin, or take? Why should a celebrity get off and Joe Shmoe down the road gets the book thrown at them. Do celebrities not drive the same city streets and highways?

The penalties for drunk driving are not even close to what they should be. Yes, they've toughened up on them a lot, but what kind of penalty serves killing a child, mother, brother, husband, etc over a couple of drinks? Over some one's good time? Or even risking it?

I would just like to personally say that I applaud the hell out of that judge that is carrying out the sentence! Every celebrity offender should be made and example of. Sports figures get put out there a lot for everything they do and though most of them get out of it, not many make it to CNN. What in the world is this country coming to?

On a lighter note, Bush getting caught for a comment he made on the way to meet the Pope was hilarious..He was on his way to Hel Peninsula, Poland and was chatting with his advisers and what not around him, unknown to him that he was being recorded and says:

"Bush goes to Hel. (Him and advisers chuckle) That's what a lot of people want."

I almost peed. At least he knows he's worthless. I still wouldn't want his job though. =) Happy Saturday!

Following a dream

So Jayk is becoming a volunteer firefighter again. There's something hot about that. (No pun intended.) He's in the beginning stages, but he's finally found a station that can work training around the job that pays the bills. He is beyond thrilled. He's like a kid that just scored the mother load at the candy store.

I am really happy for him. It takes a special person to do their job, much less for free. It's a little scary, and I don't know if I'm ready for all of the activity it will bring to our lives, but it is what he loves, so I will do my best. By activity I mean barbecues, hanging out with the other firefighter wives/girlfriends/etc, the parties. They (the trainer and his wife with whom I work with) make everything sound so fun and community like. She was telling me about running to calls with extra Gatorade for the guys and visiting the station, and dinners, barbecues, and cooking for them, etc etc.

I feel like I'm getting sucked into a secret society that doesn't really fit my personality. It's all just a little much for me to process right now. We just got back from vacation, almost done with our first week back at work, and my head is still spinning. I think my brain is stuck on permanent vacation mode. Work sucks. I thought I would come back all refreshed, but it sucks just as bad if not worse than before I left. I was burning out, and I guess 19 days away wasn't enough time away to appreciate my job and the money it brings in.

I have no desire to be there. I am not happy. I don't know why. It's not PMS. I'm not so much homesick. I'm just not happy.

I want to be excited and happy that Jayk is doing something he loves, and he really does love it. His face lights up talking about it. I want to be excited about all of the new people, and friends, but I don't trust people. Even if they are running into burning buildings with the man I love.

Maybe taking a break from school for two weeks is too much. I have too much time on my hands. I doubt that is what is really bothering me, but I can try to pawn it off on that right? I think I may talk to my financial advisor at school and find more out about student loans. Therefore, I can choose the company I wish to work for. I think I've about had it where I'm at. Or I could just be in a funk.

I hate that feeling where I know I need to get refocused and stay on track, but I really, really don't want to. I want to make a drastic change. I am itching for it. Dying my hair dark again will not be enough. I am having completely random thoughts. I just want something to change, preferably for the better. ...

"It's times like these you learn to live again.."

Foo Fighters- "It's times like these you learn to live again. It's times like these you learn to love again."

As we were getting ready the day we were to arrive at my dad's I asked Jayk if he was nervous to meet my dad and brothers. He had the best response of anyone I've crossed in my life that has met my family. Which only proves he is the only one who truly understands me. He said, "Nope. Not at all. I'm actually kind of looking forward to meeting the man (my dad) who makes you calm." When I asked about my brothers, he said, "Nope. I know how much you love them. So they can't be that bad!"

I couldn't have loved him more in that moment.

The road trip was great. Logan was awesome, he didn't cause too much havoc until we were about 3 hours away from my dad's and 3 hours away from home on the way back. I guess everyone has their limits in the car.

It was the best vacation ever. I HATE leaving. It was an extra special vacation for me because one, I got to see Rocket, my sister in law, and my nieces before they left for Colorado. It was hard to say by to Rocket and the family when they left though, since I'm not sure when I'll see them again. However, we couldn't have had a nicer visit. =) My nieces are adorable. This one got blown up to a 5x7 and is hanging on my wall already.

Second, I saw my other brother. (Standing to the left of me in the picture.) I have not seen him since New Year's Eve 1999. There is a lot of burnt bridges and cloudy nasty water in that history. Most of which did not directly have to do with me. But that is another blog post in itself.

I felt like I didn't even know him. I was so nervous when my dad said he called and was planning on coming. I didn't know how to react. Come to find out, we have some common interests! He walked up wearing a Dave Matthews Band t-shirt, and from that second, I knew everything was going to be ok.

He owns his own mortgage company with 2 or 3 other guys. He has a beautiful family. I missed chatting with my sister in law, and my two nephews and niece are fantastic kids. Logan loved them. Nolan, my brother's youngest boy is just a year older than Logan and they were buds from the get-go. (Pictured below).

Going home doesn't bring back the longing for my past as much as it used to.Now it is just about getting back there again one day. This vacation sealed the deal. I will be coming home. Not because I want to go back to my past, but because it is where I want to have our future. Jayk, Logan, and I are a family unit. We talked about this a lot on the way there, on the way home, and a few times since. We have goals now and moving back to Minnesota or Wisconsin is at the top of the list for many reasons.

I also got to see my best friend and her new little man Lucas. Too precious for words. And, I got to see my friend Jenn who I haven't seen since I was about 18 years old. It was nuts. Everyone has gone such different directions, but I am thankful that we all ended up in a good place in our lives. Vacations are the best!

This was a random shot I took camping! How awesome is he!?! (I'm not biased at all I swear).

Awww...me and my Jayk. We were so relaxed and happy! (Probably half lit, but still happy!)

My friend Ali and Lucas on the left, and my friend Jenn. Both fantastically amazing women whom I cherish!

More to come..soon...promise =)