I'm alive!

Hey everyone, I just wanted to drop a note since it's been over a month since I've posted. School is getting tougher and tougher and I just want it to be done. Jayk and I split temporarily and are again trying to patch things up.

He starts his first position as a career fire fighter with North Charleston Fire Department tomorrow, so things have been kinda up in the air and crazy for a while. I'm just trying to concentrate on school and getting things back to right if that's possible.

I'll try to post more since I have plenty to spew on my mind. ;) Miss and love you all, and will try to comment more if anything!

One of my FAVORITE things....

I used to be terrified of thunderstorms as a child, and remember many a time when I would cry to my mom that daddy shouldn't be leaving during the storm. Whether my dad loves thuderstorms as much as I do now or if it was just he wanted to get out of the house, I can now as an adult relate to his passion of thunderstorms. My dad showed me how to appreciate them and kind of study them as a hobby.

He cured my fears of thunderstorms one summer eve by driving me down to his work and taking me up on the roof during one. My mom probably wanted to murder him, but to me it was one of the very first times (at least that I can remember) I've ever felt that close to my dad. It was "our" moment. Just him, me, and the sky. It took a while for my dad and I to have the relationship we do now for reasons I could not begin to list in this blog, but thunderstorms are a very special way for me to tie memories to him, friends, families, moments, and most of all home.




What is it about thunderstorms that excites people? Especially me? I wonder if it is the unrelenting power of Mother Nature and the threat that it could all come crashing down just like the thunder does as the clouds roll in. I love the way it smells right before the rain, and I'm always half mesmerized at how still everything gets right before the sky opens up and lashes out at us. This picture above reminds me of staying at a friends house on Lake Minnetonka and watching a good one.




I mean look at that. Currently we are under a tornado warning, and when some would be worried, I am tempted to go for a walk down the middle of my street and look for one. I just love the power of it. When I was a teenager, my best friend and I would hear of a severe weather warning we'd hop in her Pontiac Sunfire with a bunch of our favorite tunes and go try to find the worst part of the storm. I love how this pic shows the city line. Makes me think of home, and how the skyline looks there during a storm.




There's something amazing and indescribable about a good storm. Usually whenever a sever thunderstorm/tornado warning hits this area, I get let down and it's a barely-there one or none at all. Tonight I wait for 35 more minutes until the warning is up, and I'm anxious. Something big is stirring not only outside, but somewhere inside of me. I just have to figure out how to let it all out......I wonder if Mother Nature feels like I do, just ready to unleash everything to just let it go...Oh how I love the rain...

Pollen Pollen everywhere...Damn Allergies!

Allergy season blows. There is so much pine pollen in the air down here, it's pointless to wash your car. You can wash it and 5 minutes later it will be some shade of your car only with a lot more yellow. It's so gross, and my sinuses hate it.

On another note, I'm thinking about applying at the passport center. I think it is just what I need at this point in my life. Quiet, off the phones, don't have to deal with people too much, and it would be Mon-Fri with holidays off. I think it's exactly what I need. In fact, I'm posting my resume tonight. Oh yea, there's the perk that it gives me security clearance and gets me into the government system, so that could help me avoid a few hoops in the future when I try to be in the education system. Maybe, I don't know. But I do know that I'm ready for a change.

To be even more random, I'm getting my eyes checked. I'm thinking geeky but chic frames. LOL

I have too much crap in my brain right now to post a coherent blog. Hope everyone is having a great week.

Come see my new spot!

Hey all! I know, I know, I barely have time to keep one blog up, but I realize that since my life is changing around my diet, I haven't had much else to think about lately besides school. So once I get used to the lifestyle change, things will be back to normal so-to-speak with having more to talk about.

I will be keeping this one up as much as possible as well, but come visit to see my journey through shedding pounds, sharing recipes, and probably a lot of funny workout stories! You can find all of this and more at http://skinnyme2morrow.blogspot.com/

Hope to see everyone there!

I can see clearly now the rain is gone......

So far, I have not fallen off the wagon. Things are good, I'm down a total of 11 pounds from when I originally started (before I got sick)and I'm growing to love turkey. LOL I know this may sound silly, but you can make a lot of good stuff with turkey.

Last week I had my first encounter with sweet Italian turkey sausage (much like a brat) and it tasted really damn good. Then I tried turkey burgers, also very yummy. Finally, this evening, I tried ground turkey and made it into tacos and am convinced I've been eating like a moron for a long time. It's not that hard to stay on track with Weight Watchers. Especially when there are so many yummy recipes out there. Granted I don't have all of the staples yet for a full blown healthy eating kitchen, but as I try new things, I'm getting there.

Next on my list is incorporating some exercise into my life to help speed up the weight loss. I bought a yoga DVD for power Pilate's and have yet to try it. I WILL find time among the other things I love to do so much like work, hang with Logan, do homework, write/read blogs, and play my online game. LOL I figure if I take it baby steps and concentrate on one thing at a time, it will be easier to incorporate the new stuff like more exercise at some point.

As discouraging as it seems since I don't have that much free time, as the pounds come off, I am feeling the burst of energy I should have at 27 come back to life. Today is a very optimistic day. Yay for wacky Wednesdays!

Alone on a Saturday

So me and lil man have today to ourselves. I have mountais of laundry to do. I need to go get some clothes for little man. He's growing like a weed, but I don't really know if I want to shop the gammut of Saturday shoppers with a four year old in tow. I hope Jayk gets done with his class early so I can drag both of them.

I need some new work clothes and play clothes for that matter, not to mention shoes, but I'm waiting until I drop a few more sizes. I'm down one size already, and that was motivation enough to keep going with Weight Watchers. I lost 10, then when I was sick gained 5, and now I'm back down 5. Either way when I bought a new pair of jeans last week and they were one size smaller than what I used to wear, I put the diet into high gear.

I decided to pay for Weight Watchers online for 3 months.Not too bad, through work it was only $55 vs. $69.95. They say my healthy weight is between 115 and 140, but my target goal is 115! I can't imagine being that small again, but we'll see. ;) I hope to at least get down to 130. I've been so good, I haven't cheated, not even once. I've stuck to my points and went grocery shopping accordingly and it so far has not been that bad. The only thing I think I'll pass on next time is fat free cottage cheese. It's only one point less than the two percent cottage cheese, but the taste difference is SO huge. I honestly never thought I would pay to have someone help me lose weight, but honestly since I'm a cheapskate when it comes to pinching pennies, if I pay for it, I'm going to use it. Therefore paying makes more sense to me.

I personally think that Mags should move to SC and open up a Weight Watchers restaurant. She would know exactly how to prepare food that us WW people could eat and stay on our point system, AND it would taste scrump-diddly-umptious! Applebee's only has a few items from WW, but I will admit it was pretty good. Mags, you could do a WHOLE MENU of your own creations!

OK, I'm babbling again. So, here is my dilema, shop or laundry? Shop or laundry? Maybe I should make my head ache go away first....Happy Saturday!

Where does all the time go?

I don't think that I'm a wasteful person. I certainly do not waste time. Or do I? It seems I haven't blogged in forever, and I haven't seen some of my friends forever, but I guess that's what you get when you are in school, work full time, and have a four year old. Or, quite possibly, I've turned into a homebody.

Either way right now I have a migraine from nowhere, I hate my job still, and Jayk is mid-career change. (Everyone cross your fingers, he had an interview Monday at North Charleston Fire Department.) Maybe part of me is jealous he is almost to a career he loves and all I can see is that I'm stuck at a job I hate with a passion for at least the next two years. I would rather be unemployed right now and a stay at home mom going to school and working part time but I know that financially, there is no way I can do that. God I hate this shit.

Oh, and then there's school. I'm in another math class that is royally kicking my ass. I can't get algebra. Stupid I know, but I am math retarded. I can do a problem over and over again but none of it is retained in my right sided thinking brain. (Not sure if that made sense, but I'm working with a migraine here.)

On a positive note, I am going to Boston from 3/27/08-3/30/08 to visit my best friend and to attend her baby shower. I haven't seen her in almost 2 years, and better I get to see her family I used to live with as a teen that I haven't seen in like 10+ years. 28 days. 28 days and I get a mini-vacation.

162 days and I go home for a week with my men! I found killer ticket prices $230 round trip from Charlotte, NC to Minneapolis. God I can't wait to get home. Maybe I can convince Jayk to start job hunting up there soon. By next tax time and bonus I could use both and get the fuck out of dodge. We'll see.

My son starts kindergarten this year and I really don't want him in schools down here past 1st or 2nd grade. Check out where SC finishes education wise here www.sc.gov go to department of education and play around a bit. The statistics are disgusting.

In the words of Ani DiFranco, "So anyway..um..uh..yea." That's pretty much it for me.

I hate...

Two strong words..I hate. But I do. I hate that I just got over a god damned (sorry if I offended anyone) sinus infection, and now have the fucking flu. Off to break my fever, sorry just had to vent.

I normally wouldn't post anything like this because most of them are false schemes. This one however is not. Please click on my link for my friend Mags on the left hand side of the screen to get to the donate button! If I can donate I know everyone can! Please help Linda bring her girl home! No child deserves this!

***AFTER READING THIS POST, PLEASE CONSIDER COPYING IT AND POSTING IT ON YOUR BLOG-THE MORE EXPOSURE THIS GETS, THE BETTER***

She tries to sleep, but she can’t-the noises coming from the only bedroom in the trailer are too loud, too embarrassing. Rolling over she faces the wall and hopes that her father will finish what he’s doing and that her step-mother won’t make any more noise.




She’s living every teenage girl’s nightmare.

It’s bad enough that she was torn from her friends in Kentucky-but living here, in this cramped, dirty trailer with no privacy and no indoor shower is the icing on the cake. Fitting in at school was out of the question-her father made sure of that by not allowing her to socialize outside of class & eventually, she woke up one morning knowing that she would no longer walk the halls of freedom, but instead would be taught in the very trailer she slept in.

It’s probably for the best, she thinks-if anyone ever found out that they make me wear hand me down underwear I’d be the laughing stock of the state anyway…


She wishes she could move home-to her real home-with her mother and sister in Connecticut. There she would be nurtured and cared for, and allowed to be a teenager…allowed to have opinions and ideas and to cut her hair the way she likes it.


But she knows she can’t. He’s making sure of that too…




Jamie wants to come home.



Many of you know Linda from Are We There Yet? And perhaps you know that she has two daughters, Amanda and Jamie. Amanda lives with Linda here in CT and Jamie lives in Florida with her father and his wife.


Life for Jamie is not going well.


Jamie is living a lonely life in a cramped, dirty trailer with guardians who won’t allow her to be an individual. She is not allowed to have friends. She can’t choose her own music or movies and she can’t even cut her hair. She has to shower in a common area of a camp ground because her “home” doesn’t have a shower.

She is homeschooled by her stepmother-a woman who is not qualified to take on such a task and Jamie is, for sure, behind other kids her age academically. No doubt, she will also fall behind socially as well.

Though Jamie has expressed to her father that she wants to move to Connecticut to live with her mother, he will not allow it. His reasoning is that Linda is not a good mother.

His reasoning is bull shit.

When Jamie visits, it is easy to see that she flourishes. Her smile is bright and it’s clear that being allowed to smile and laugh and to be a little quirky is the reason. Anyone who reads Linda’s blog knows that she is a caring and attentive mother who strives to give both of her children what they deserve.

The man that Jamie and Amanda call Dad is not a good man. He remarried and is completely wrapped up in his new marriage and does not care what happens to Jamie. If he believes that Linda is a bad mother because Amanda has blue hair, then I wonder what he would say if she were to cast her daughter out of her life simply because she was a little different…

Of course, Linda would never do that-but he did. Amanda lived with her father at one time, and was sent back to live with Linda because she didn’t “fit in” to the family he wanted to create. He no longer speaks to her. Now tell me, how can a man who disowns one daughter ever be a better parent than one who loves unconditionally?

He can’t.

And that’s why Jamie needs to come home.

Being a single mother who makes “too much money” (read: she makes over the poverty level) Linda does not qualify for financial assistance for legal aid, and therefore is having trouble getting a lawyer’s attention. In CT, courts consider a custody award as subject to change until the child involved grows up, and in most states proof of a "change in circumstances" may overturn an earlier award. This flexibility is intended to allow for the correction of poor or outdated decisions.


Jamie has vocalized to both parents that she wishes to move. Her dad has vocalized that it will never happen. Linda made a promise to Jamie that she would do anything in her power to get here home.

But she needs our help.

On my sidebar I have posted a magic button-this magic button allows you to donate to the Get Jamie Home Legal Fund. The faster you click, the faster you will help change the life of one little girl who very much needs a new life.

Please help. We’ve seen in the past that every penny helps…even if you can only donate $5, please consider doing it.




Jamie needs to come home.

The countdown is on...

So, I've lost 6 pounds in the first week. Which is awesome. Only 12 pounds until I hit my first goal. I found out though that I was not eating all of my points that I'm actually allowed. Originally I thought I was only allowed between 20-22 points but actually I'm supposed to get 25-27 points. Then 2 more pounds and it drops to 20-25 points per day.

This is probably why my partner in this lost 8 pounds and I only lost 6. Plus she has a little bit more to lose than I do. I'm not comparing myself to her, but now I know why I am struggling a little bit with cravings and such. I was depriving my body. Oh, well six pounds later I'm not complaining by any means.;)

Work still sucks, but oh well. Until I get my bachelor's I'll be a VZW mouthpiece. C'est la vie, right? ;)

Time old cliche

Ok so everyone usually has a new year's resolution to either 1)lose weight or 2) quit smoking or some other nasty habit society frowns upon.

I on the other hand do not believe in resolutions because it is like setting yourself up for failure. You have to do something or quit something because you want to; because you need to. Whether it be for yourself or for your health or even both, when you want to change something you have to do it for the right reasons.

Recently, 4 days ago to be exact, my friend Michelle and I have made a life-style changing decision. We are going to lose weight and be a support system to each other. I'm obese compared to any medical charts though thankfully I only look "thick" according to most opinions. Michelle and I have decided to do the Weight Watchers diet. She had done it a couple of years ago and had very successful results, but then gave up on it because she didn't have much of a support system.

Since she already had the materials (the point counter/slide thingy)we opted not to pay to go to meetings, but to meet once a week for weigh-ins and follow our point guidance system. I'm not by any means trying to advertise for WeightWatchers, but I will say that so far this has been my favorite method of losing weight. I don't have to cut anything out that I don't want to, I just have to make healthier decisions.

For example, if I'm starving and all I really want is a junior cheeseburger from Wendy's, I can do that but it will take 9 points! I am currently allowed between 20-22 points a day based on my beginning weight. As I drop in pounds, so do my points. So if I want to eat that yummy cheeseburger, I have to consider anything else I've eaten that day and what I will be allowing myself for the remainder of the day. Since I know that one cheeseburger is not really going to satisfy the hunger, and it will cut me short for what I can eat for the rest of the day, I move on to other options.

On day one I weighed in at 182 ginormous pounds. (To me that is humongous). Today on day 4, I'm already at 178 pounds! 4 days=4 pounds! The greatest thing is, I haven't starved myself at all. You are supposed to eat all of your points so-to-speak because if you don't you are only hindering your weight loss abilities by slowing your metabolism down; therefore not losing weight.

I also am aware that the most rapid weight loss happens in the first few weeks. I'm prepared for it, only because I'm just thrilled enough to be losing it at all! My first weight loss goal is 10% of my weight, so aproximately 18 pounds. My lifetime goal is to be back in my healthy range of 140-146 according to what my doctor says for my height and age. So my ultimate goal is approximately 40 pounds.

So here we go! I know it's been a while since I posted, but I really have not been myself (no pun intended) for a long time. I've not been happy with myself. I love my life, don't get me wrong; even with all the bullshit that's in it reminds me I'm alive, but my appearance has brought my confidence and my overall motivation to do anything to a stand still.

So for anyone out there reading who is looking for a decent diet plan, try WeightWatchers. It's not a fad diet, and you don't have to be morbidly obese to do it. There is even online WeightWatchers where you can get the support you need for a fee. (I have yet to get to that point, because I cannot afford it.) I am so excited about this though, I felt the need to share. =) Hope all is well my blogger buddies! I will keep you posted on the pounds peeling off! =P

I hate moving....trash

Ok, so after an insanely busy week of packing we moved this previous Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. As many of you know it was a short term notice move since we did not want to lose the deal on the place we wanted to rent. So I packed and packed and still ended up with more trash in my new house due to the fact that I didn't really have time to take my time and go through things.

So as I'm sure anyone who is reading this has moved once at least in their lives. It sucks. I hate it. But I LOVE our new townhouse. I will post pics as soon as I can. Right now I'm rotating trash since my trash can is full and still have so much stuff to put away. By rotating I mean I'm holding trash until next pickup day, then I can get rid of more. Sad isn't it? I have no dumpster, and with this being Thanksgiving week and Jayk has training Tuesday, we have no time to run up to the station's dumpster to make a drop there.

So enough babbling, I will be back soon. Love to all. Off to more unpacking and hanging stuff.

New House!

Ok, so we're joing the ranks with Mags, and moving! Not quite as far as she is, but we're still moving. We finally found a place closer to my mom's. I'm so stoked because the management for the property is much better, it's a brand new townhouse so everything is new, and it's cheaper than where we live now! I will post pics next week when we sign our lease! Just wanted to take a quick moment to share!

Why One Should NOT Drink Energy Drinks

So I know I promised to write about what was going on, and you're probably wondering what the beverage pictured above has to do with it...so here it is..

I was just exhausted the beginning of this month for whatever reason, so I decided I'd try one of those energy drinks. It was nice it gave me the boost I needed just enough to get through my entire day. I was drinking one to two max per day and being productive. Between finals, Logan, Jayk, and work I was getting pretty worn out.

Now a little history about my performance at work. I have been with my company for three years now. The first two years were kind of rough but I was performing. This year I have just been plain kicking ass. Due to Logan needing me because of multiple times of being sick I ended up on corrective action for attendance at work. My corrective action falls off on December 26 of the year. This means my raise will be fat, my bonus will be fat, and I can post for other positions if I choose to.

How does this all tie together? Well we have a "big-brother" system at work that keeps track of our time on the phones. We refer to it in our performance agreements as schedule adherence. Yes I live in a world of scheduled breaks and using badges to get into different parts of the building.

Well drinking these drinks did give me the energy I needed by the second week of drinking them, they really started to bug my stomach out. I mean really bug my stomach out. My stomach was constantly hurting and was making me have to take multiple bio breaks, if ya know what I mean. (I know, I know..too much information right?)Well after I stopped drinking them, my system was still pissed and it took about a good two weeks for my stomach to heal.

So if you're paying attention to the math, that's almost a full month of having tummy issues. It only affected me at work for about two weeks. Never once in the previous ten months have I had a problem with schedule adherence. But then my supervisor pulled my adherence report for last week and confronted me as I was walking out the door in front of other people. Not cool at all. (I had told her I was having tummy issues throughout the month, but not to the extent of me having to sign off under personal therefore effecting my adherence.)

So as embarrassing of a situation as it was, she told me we would just talk about it on my one on one the next day. Great feeling to go home with let me tell you. The only reason I was so worried is because that place is so twisted and screwed up I was worried right before I was to be off of corrective I had just given them a reason to put me on some more which would then lower my raise and my bonus. I need that money.

I have really put forth an effort this year to be leading so I could reap my benefits, so I was really stressed. Basically all that happened was once I explained myself (that was fun and rather personal) she just made me sign the report and put it in my file. No corrective action. PHEEEWW!

Moral(s) of the story: energy drinks are bad and make you poo a lot, and not the pleasant kind. I lost 8 pounds in 7 days, sounds great, but not my choice way of losing weight. Do not drink them regularly. The company I work for sucks and so does any company that treats their employees like convicts in a maximum security prison. Ten more months until I finish my associates. Ten. That's it, peace out VZW.

I know it's kind of silly, but I was really upset and stressed about this and the lack of professionalism this company and its management continues to display to myself and all employees for that matter. We may have the best service, but internally that place sucks.

I'll be back...

Hey, I'm MIA for a bit. Extremely stressed out with work again. They are finding ways to fuck with people's money and it hasn't directly affected Jayk or I yet, but I'm waiting for the other shoe to fall. I have a meeting tomorrow to see if it will affect me, but I really don't have the energy to go into it all. I hate that place with a flying passion. Just keep your fingers crossed for me. I will explain more later. Love to all!

Never say Never...

Here's your risque pic Brian! Mwuahahahaha!

So anyway, I really like the class I'm in, Introduction to World Cultures and Social Environments. It's been a pretty easy class. Now just comes the essay. Thankfully my final is based off an interview of someone who is either an immigrant to my home country, a person of a different race or ethnicity, or a person who belongs to a subgroup I do not belong to. So pretty much that's anyone. Lucky for me, I can make mine interesting and interview my momma since she's from French Morrocco. The other plus is it doesn't have to be that long, just 1050-1750 words. I type more than that in my blog sometimes.

Not only do I like this class, but this is the last of my elective classes, then I start into my core program in Human Services! I'm so stoked about this because as we all know, the sooner I get done with my associates, the sooner I can leave the dreaded job I'm in, AND this time next year will be that time. Then onto my bachelor's and master's.

Funny how time changes and things we hated growing up become something we enjoy as adults, and this applies to almost every aspect of life. Think about it, how many of us hated asparagus or some other weird vegetable that made us want to puke? Or had the annoying cousin that made us say "I'm never having kids?" I was one that HATED school and looking back it wasn't the learning I hated, it was the people I was there with.Maybe one day I'll blog about my traumatic days in junior high and high school, right now I'm not ready for that. But the cool thing is now, I actually really enjoy school now and I would be lost without it since I wouldn't have anything else to do. It keeps me on track, and eats up a lot of time that I could be wasting doing something completely unproductive.

You could have asked me 4 years ago if I thought I would be engaged, and I would've said "Fuck no, I hate all men and am never getting married." 3 years ago if you would have asked me if I was going back to school ever, my answer would have been, "I don't have the money or time, and I don't even know how to get started." 5 years ago if you would have asked me if I ever wanted kids, the answer would have been "Nope, I like the ones I can give back at the end of the day, but I don't want one to keep." 10 years ago, I dropped out of high school because I couldn't handle my peers constantly "ruining my life" (yea, I actually thought it was that serious).

Almost everything I said I would never do has become a cherished part of my life. I wonder when we say we're never going to do something if secretly that is what our heart of hearts desires the most.....

M.I.A.

Hey everyone, I know I've been missing lately. I'm in my last two weeks of class again so you know what that means. Things are kind of crazy. I will try to catch up with everyone this weekend. Hope everyone has a great week!

Friday Funnies

So I'm going to try something different before I head off to do all of my errands and clean my house today. We'll see if I can keep up with Friday funnies, I will do my best. If anything else, I just had to share this frickin hilarious video!

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

My life as music..

While listening to a shuffle on my play list I came across a song that made me think of my brother Rocket's post a while back that can be found here: http://rocketstarinmpls.blogspot.com/2007/05/i-dont-quite-understand-it.html

Music is one of the best things us monkeys created yes indeedy Rocket. While doing homework and listening to a random shuffle of my music files on my computer, I stopped everything I was doing to close my eyes and listen to this one song. I think I could honestly write an autobiography with music that has touched my life and left an imprint in my soul.

The Samples came on; "Nothing Lasts for Long". That song and I have so many damn memories it almost made me cry just listening to it. But I just sat on the couch with my eyes closed remembering. My dad introduced me to this band along with many others. I got hooked on the No Room album.

Music ties me to places and times I never want to forget. Certain artists, songs, and albums will forever keep memories most would forget alive in my mind. The Samples were a big part of my late teen, really depressed screwed up, early adult years when I didn't know my head from my ass.

I remember so many nights listening to that album outside drinking a beer or mixed drink with my dad and talking about everything under the sun. Going to my dad's was like going to my own private sanctuary to get away from it all. Then there were times I would listen to certain songs and swear that they were written about my life, and it's so amazing how you listen to a song at one age and it molds into a whole other meaning later in life. "Nothing Lasts for Long" is one of those songs.

I burnt so many bridges and learned so many hard lessons growing up, and have spent most of my early adult life trying to repair some of those bridges. I missed so many things I wish I hadn't being a rebellious teenager, that I'll never get back. So even though music brings back good memories and ties you to a place, it can open old wounds no matter how much you love to hear those songs.

One of the best memories I have of the Samples is going to First Ave with my dad and my brother Rocket to hear them play. It was the first and only time I've seen them live. More importantly, it was the first time I ever really "hung out" with my big brother outside of family functions. I don't think he's realized it with all the dysfunctions we've both dealt with in our lives growing up, but I wanted so badly to be like him. I was just too self-centered and envious of him to try to talk to him on his level. So as I grew up and learned everything the hard way, he always lent advice when I needed it whether I took it or not, but as I started making better choices for myself, I noticed our relationship improved too. I just wish I had more moments like the night I saw The Samples with him at First Ave. If I had not been such a selfish bitch, I may have. So as great of a band/song it is, it is an awesomely bittersweet memory that I cherish.

I don't regret my scars or the mistakes I've made, because I've learned from them all. Would I have made choices differently had I known? Wouldn't we all at some point with some thing in our lives? Let's just hope that the band aids are big enough and that time really does heal all wounds......

Screw the weatherman!

This is what I have to say to the weatherman/gods/science that is keeping me from my favorite season: Screw you!

I am willing the chillier air, the beautiful colors, and jeans and sweater weather to come. I have started the spell by cooking my favorite fall meal: Chilli! That's right, damned the 80 degree weather, I will have an autumn mindset! And with this mindset, I am determined to will lower temperatures to my area.

I really hate this time of year down here because autumn is my favorite time of year, and I get deprived of it in Charleston. I hate the heat! I can't wait to dig into that crockpot tomorrow at dinner time!

Maybe if I keep this up, I'll be able to buy and carve a pumpkin without it rotting only after one day. I love Halloween. Pagan or otherwise, it is my favorite holiday. What other day of the year can you dress up as someone other than yourself (even if you do look mildly retarded in the French maid costume) and no one really says anything other than "great costume!"?

I want to live in a place that feels like fall all year round. Does such place exist? The last two days it's been raining like Seattle, hot like Havannah, and sticky like a rainforest. Ick.

On a somewhat happier note but something that will be stressing me out soon enough, Jayk and I drove around and looked at houses for rent. It was fun to look at all the places we could possibly live and what we would do with the places, but then those thoughts inevitably lead into how much money we have to come up with to move in, etc etc. So I just didn't think about that.

So overall, if I could have one wish that didn't involve large sums of money, it would be a toss up for cooler weather down here year round, or instead of wishing on the cosmos, I would wish to move back to MN or WI....hurry up fall....I'm not a patient person.